012121

012121

Things could not be worse but when troubles snowballed to such a mass you feel kind of numb. I got so worried lately because of different things, things I could not control, things that are larger than me, and I find it hard to trust the Lord with a pure heart. I mean, what does it mean to trust the Lord? Is it like, "OK God, I can't deal with it, please take care of it"? Seriously I've got some trust issue, and it is an insult to the Lord. The docs believe that it is going to take about three months for fatty liver to improve. If so, I would have to go back to Panama and come back later, and it is going to be expensive. On the other hand, I miss my lovey wife and my kid so much. I want to be with her when the second baby is born. 


 I took a long walk along the Tamsui river and I wept. I ask God to take care of my family in Panama and give me wise mind to make the right decision. I also called Ruth and we talked for an hour. It was a good talk. I felt much better afterward.


Dad had a coloscopy today and he was fully sedated so he did not feel a thing. I got some beef soup noodle for him as dinner he ate and wanted to eat more. 




Today I have been trying to draw cash from the ATM with my credit card but couldn't do it. It gave me some sort of error code. I chatted the bank in Panama and they said that my card was not blocked. I was kind of harsh with the first agent, feeling kind of guilty about it, God forgive me. I prayed God to help me solve the money issue so we could pay the hospital tomorrow morning, God is good and He will always be.



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